I've been doing to much lately and not thinking at all.

Here's all the crap that's floating around in my head that I need to get out:

I'm not dreading college anymore. I'm looking forward to it. There are so many reasons why now, when before there were so many reasons not to go.

a) I need away from my parents. Things are reaching an all time low- and it's mostly my fault. I accuse them of things they don't do. I beg them for things I don't need because I'm spoiled. I take advantage of having two nice and wealthy parents being around. I always take their support as criticism or at least fake. Maybe putting some distance between me and them will help me appreciate them a little more or at least act civil towards them. Plus it will be good for them becuase they want to start traveling now.

b) I used to be afraid of losing all the great friends I have here. Now I'm not afraid, because I realized I don't have many. I know that I know a lot of people, and I know I have I guess a decent number of friends, but most of them are fake. And I'm NOT criticizing. I know I can be way more than fake. I know I'm a terrible friend to a lot of people. I'm not saying any of this to be mean to anyone. And I'm also counting the great friends I have. And to those few: Thank you so much, for making my life as great as it is, and for teaching me all that you have, and for helping me everytime I ask, and for lending me money when I need it (I'll pay you all back today). One time a wise friend once told me that if something is meant to happen, it will. And I believe that. I believe that I will keep in touch with those friends, and spend many a great weekend with them, but I am so glad I'm not coming home for Christmas Break next year, because there are so many people here that I know I won't want to see. That I already don't want to see.

c).

Nevermind, the only two reasons I want to go to college are to get away from losers here. I am a sucker for running away from my problems. I'll let you know in a year if it worked.