I really struggle a lot with which sort of things I have control over and which I don't. You know, sometimes people say "well you can't do anything about it so just live with it." But I hate it when they say that and you know it can be fixed. But it also drives me crazy when people try so hard to change things that you can't change.

I guess from far away it's a lot easier to tell though. I think I can usually tell the difference in someone else's situation, but I really struggle with figuring it out for my own. And no, this actually isn't about college. It's about just about everything else: friends, prom, work, school, band, feelings, thoughts. It's hard.

Today doesn't feel like a school night at all. I went to band all day. Dumb ol' contest. But at least no German class today. I know next week will be so hard after having 3 four day weeks in a row, and only going to school for 3 days this week really. Plus I'll be tired from prom.

After we got back from Band, I went to church and picked up Heidi. We saw Maxanne in the parking lot, and she wanted to hang out with us and suggested we all go to the park and fly kites! So, since Nick got two lovely kites from Maxanne for his birthday, we went to his house and rang the doorbell. He didn't answer that or the 5 million phone calls I placed because, as I found out later, he was busy doing his hair. So at least he was pretty while it was still wet.

I took Heidi with me to my house so I could change, then Nick met us here with the kites. And we did nothing for a while. Then we went and got slurpees first. And took a bag of potato chips with us to much on. And Maxanne said she had to babysit her sister who's in 6th grade and that's dumb, so we brought her a cherry slurpee, and we went to Andy Brown. East, that is. It was hard to fly that kite! And this one boy took my picture.

Then we were out of slurpees and done flying a kite so we went to Holywood to rent what we would watch after prom. We decide on Prom Night. How appropriate. It shall be fun. And then Heidi had to go back to church because it was after 7 and it was time for her to go home, so Nick and I went to my house. I think we were about to have a conversation, and then I saw my mom driving away, so I hopped out of the car and asked her to take us to dinner, because when parents pay, it's free.

On the way home, Nick drove my mom's car. Then I told him that poem about waltzing is really about child abuse. Then I went back to Hollywood to rent Kill Bill for Daddy, and Jonathan told me he thought that girl I was with was hot. I said she's 15. He said that's illegal. Then some secret stuff happened. And now I'm home, and I'll watch a movie.

Today was fun, because it felt like summer. Or at least a long weekend. I'll miss doing things like this when I'm gone. Maybe I'll find people like to hang out with who are cool enough to make any Thursday afternoon feel like a nice summer day.