Gather around, boys and girls, it’s story time!

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (New Jersey, to be exact) I lived in a big house. We had two cars: A white Thunderbird (my dad’s) and a red Aerostar minivan (my mom’s). Well, when we were in NJ, we never really drove the Thunderbird. Dad worked in NYC, but every day we would all get into the van, drive him to the train station, drive Brent to school, then I went home with Mom. Since we never used it, we gave it to Dad’s dad (Granddad) and he drove it, to keep it running and all.

Then we came home from NJ, but Mom’s car didn’t make it. So we made a new investment in a new, red Aerostar minivan. Oh and about this time, Granddad gave Dad his Thunderbird back. But one tragic Saturday morning, Dad was driving to work in the pouring down rain. He was on the highway, and over the top of a hill ahead of him, there was a van that had just stopped in the middle lane, and Dad hit it dead on in the back. It didn’t dent the van, but it crushed in the fiberglass front of Dad’s beloved.

It was going to cost 1500 dollars to repair the front, and the car wasn’t even worth that much by this time, so Dad decided to get rid of it and buy an Acura Vigor (I think). So to recap, we have a new red Aerostar van (just like the old one) and a new dark Acura Vigor, as of about 1991. Then, in 1996ish, Dad decided to that his car was nice, but it was small, so he upgraded to an Acura RL 3.5, a luxury car.

This is how it was for a while, but around the later 90s, Dad decided he needed another car, and bought a green 1996 Corvette, in addition to our other two cars. But then bad stuff happened. The windows leaked, and once the taillight fell out while it was just sitting in the garage one night. So Dad upgraded to a 1999 pewter Corvette. But the windows leaked and it wasn’t exactly the best car either. It was around this time Dad started getting into racing his cars. Midlife crisis? Who knows?

Then freshman band camp. It was the year when we were in the cage, remember guys? And Jennifer G and I carpooled, her parents took us and mine dropped us off. Well, this day was very surprising, because my mom showed up in a brand new Lexus LS. Yes, I didn’t see her for the longest time. Eventually she told my Dad, who was out of town at the time, that she bought a new car and got rid of the van. He was upset until the first time he drove it. Then he decided he needed one, too.

So my parents went back to Diana’s dad, the Lexus salesman, and gave up the pewter Corvette for a brand new blue Lexus IS. At this point, we have the old Acura RL 3.5, the new Lexus LS, and the newer Lexus IS. Also, my brother turned 16 around here somewhere, yet refused to drive. So my parents bought him a green 1995 Honda Civic. At this point we had 4 cars.

Then Dad decided (do you see the trend with my father and cars?) that he needed to soup up his car, so he added a turbo kit to the engine, and now it’s got 400 horsepower and a heck of a lot more gadgets. Oh, and it spent more than a month with Richard, his mechanic. But this past weekend, my dad took it to the racetrack for the first time ever. On his way home, he was idling at a red light, and it just stopped running. Dad got it towed to our house for overnight keeping, and then it went to Richard’s garage early this morning so that he could fix it. Richard said one of the wire clamps got a bundle of wires too close to the turbo, and in essence, the heat from the turbo burned the wires all the way through, and when that happened, the car stopped.

So now my dad has another rental car. A green Xterra with bad breaks. And Richard is rewiring it. So if you see my dad driving an SUV, it’s because he wrecked his white Thunderbird.